I was thinking about last night, what went well, what could be improved and what’s come along in my game recently. A big thing that I think is really key is leading, it’s something that I clearly fucked up on in previous relationships. I was waaaaaay to happy to let the girl lead which is an anathema to girls and frankly must have turned both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend off me. The phrases “what do you want to do” or “whatever you want” should not be in your vocabulary.
When I say leading I mean taking control, making the decisions and at least seeming like you know exactly where you’re going and what you want, the best way to do this is to plan ahead.
I’ve been taking this a step further recently by ordering for girls and making decisions for them. For instance last night in the cocktail bar I just asked do you like bitter or sweet cocktails, I knew a good one of each and ordered accordingly.
My top tips for leading are:
- Plan your dates in advance, I actually can’t believe people don’t do this but you should know where you will meet and which venues you plan to take in
- If it’s a new date route that you haven’t used before arrive early and walk it so that you know exactly where you are going, google maps is not sexy
- Use the same date plan repeatedly, you get to know it and it becomes routine
- If you don’t know where you’re going and get lost pretend you do. This sometimes happens on an instadate but in London if you keep walking in any direction long enough you will find a coffee shop or bar
- Don’t ask the girls opinion, stick to your plan unless they come up with an overwhelmingly reasonable objection “My best friend died in that bar” is reasonable “I don’t like the look of that place” isn’t
- Consider ordering for the girl, particularly if it’s a cocktail bar with an unfathomably long list of drinks – in my experience mojito and daiquiri are good bets, though the posher places will have named them something else for no apparent reason
- Assume the sale, state or do what you will do and just assume they will comply
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