As a kid I had an image of the police as being some sort of benevolent force that stood up for the good guys and put the bad guys in jail. I wasn’t in the *bad crowd* at school, I would never tell my teacher to fuck off, or mutter cunt under my breath when answering back. I wasn’t one of the boys who called coppers “fucking pigs” or who would loudly ask each other if they smelt bacon whenever there was a policeman in audio range. I never really understood this attitude, they are just looking out for us, right?
Fast forward 20 years, I’m walking through High Street Kensington with Seano. (Here you go, little secret. High St Ken is as good as central London for daygame, and the quality of women are better, they tend to be of a higher class of girl. – Uncle Vaughn) I push him into a set, a girl hooks he number closes, he does the same to me (A girl giving out flyers, she’s Norwegian, cute blonde, bored), she hooks, I number close. I throw him in again, a cute young looking Spanish girl waiting at a bus stop. She’s enjoying the interaction, but has a boyfriend.
I spot a girl, she’s young looking with dodgy ears, I don’t care, I fancy her. Seano doesn’t, he says “not her”, I tell him to fuck off, I run in and stop her. Weird ears aside, she had a pretty face, slightly South American look, dressed in a green top, slim. Maybe I could use her ears for some new sex position. Anyway, I throw on my best grin, she stops, but I caught her just as she looked down to fix her coat. She looks up, I’m there stood in front of her, she looks very surprised. Her shocked look throws me off, I blurt out something about her looking nice. She accepts the compliment, looks at me, then walks on. I think nothing of it, a shot to nothing, and go back to Seano.
We cross the road, I look back. I see the traffic backed up behind a police car. It’s stopped in the middle of the street and two policemen in uniform are questioning the girl. The interaction looks pretty short, she responds something then walks off. We keep walking, 2 minutes later, the police car pulls up. They’ve fired up the lights, which are drawing everyone’s attention, the two coppers get out. One I can tell has an instant dislike to me, he’s a fat man, that needs to lay off the cakes. The other seems more reasonable, he starts asking me questions:
- “Do you speak English?” – “Yes”, What fucking kind of question is this?
- “Where are you from?” – “London. “
- “What are you doing today?” – “Chatting up birds, why? what did that girl say?”
- “Oh, she said, you told her she looks nice” – “So, why are we having this conversation then?”
- “Well there are rapists and sexual predators around, anyway do you have ID” – I hand over my ID
- Seano then interjects with some logic – “If you are stopping us, why aren’t you stopping any one that talks to a girl in bars, clubs etc.. what’s the difference?”
- “Well, there are rapists, I’m sure you would want us to protect your sisters” – the ID check comes through OK.
- “Well, it’s not illegal to chat to people on the street, she was nice girl, very pretty” – no she wasn’t, she’s a 6 at best, why the fuck does it matter if she was pretty anyway?
Then the fat policeman interjects:
- “You need to work on your patter” – he has a greasy self important look to him.
- Seano responds: “You try chatting up a girl on the street, let’s see how you do.”
- “I don’t need to, look, points to the ring on his wedding finger then smugly says I’m married.” – What a dick.
They apologise for taking my time, then get back in the car and drive off. Seano is in hysterical fits of laughter, his state has shifted through the roof. I’m just very very angry. Who cares if they thought I was a rapist, they had thought I wasn’t English.
“Do you speak English?” fucking twats.
[gap size="3em"][author class="man" title="More About This Author"]