It was my Birthday on Friday. I’m 36, I’m a lucky bastard as I look 26. No girl ever believes I’m in my thirties, I usually lie and tell them I’m 27. I went to Nottinghill to my local bar with my uncle, Mr S, Xants and RamboPua for a few beers to celebrate. We eat fish and chips and talk about game, my Uncle listens. He used to be a bit of a womaniser in his day, he loves all the sordid tales. As the beers flow, the filter is off and the stories get seedier.
I decided to only drink shandies rather than full pints. I can’t drink, I’m a terrible drunk, I get blackouts and can’t remember what happened. I would wake up on my bed next morning, fully clothed and wonder how I got there.
We hit another bar, it’s crowded. I spot two girls looking bored, both pretty, both young, one flashes me a look. I go straight in “me and my friends over there had a bet, they say your italian I think your french”. They hook immediately, they are German girls, here studying English. One is petite, dark hair, leather pants, very pretty face. The other is blonde, blue eyes, taller, with a bit of puppy fat. She’s a clear point lower than dark haired girl, but still pretty hot.
Xants had called dibs on the other girl, so he comes in. I pull up a stool from another table and sit with them. Xants is standing. I sit next to the blonde, He is tasked with the brunette. Unfortunately for him, she doesn’t seem interested in him. Both girls are flashing me the looks. I’m in state, they seem keen, I’m teasing them about German stereotypes. One girl asks me to guess her last name, I say “It’s not Hitler is it?”.
I say goodbye to the other 2 guys and my uncle, then we bounce them to another bar, . We buy a bottle of wine and share it. Then both girls go to the toilet. When they are away, we analyse. I have a choice to make, I’d been coming on pretty strong with the blondie, but Xants was getting nowhere with Brunette, we later find out she has a boyfriend. Should we switch it up?, to give him a chance to fuck?, It was obvious that the blonde one was a bit easier and he was getting some pretty heavy IOD from Brunette. I’m selfish, and want the lay, but the Brunette is still pretty fucking hot.
In the end we decide to leave it up to the girls, we set the 4 chairs, 2 empty ones in the middle, us each side. They can choose where to sit when they come back. They come back, Blondie is first, and she sits next to me. Score, this should be easy. I’m practicing the Paul Janka, lips touching with strong eye contact, whispering into her ear. I can tell she’s melting, I think fuck it, I’ll try and kiss her now. Whilst the other 2 are chatting, I pull her in and do a short makeout before pushing her away. She’s not a very good kisser.
More chat, we now have 2 bubbles going, but I can tell I’m doing way better than Xants. I want to escalate more, I lean in and whisper in Blondie’s ear, “let’s go outside, I need to show you a really great shop”. Any excuse. I take her arm and lead her out. We walk to a side alley, I pull her in and kiss her. She looks a bit shocked. What? did she actually think there was a shop? I push her up against the wall, slam my tongue into her, she’s squirming, she loves it. I escalate, and start fingering her over her tights and panties. She’s moaning and flushes red. I push her away again, tell her she’s a bad girl then we walk back to the bar hand in hand,
The bar is closing, so I bounce them to mine for another drink. There are only 2 beers in my fridge, I split it between the two girls. We dance and mess around, but I don’t really have a plan. Xants is picking up the Blondie, the Brunette is digging into me, staring into my eyes. I should have kissed her too, but I chicken it, thinking it will fuck me up for the other girl.
I pull Blondie in, Brunette gets bored and wants to leave. They have a chat, Blondie wants to stay, but Brunette won’t go back on her own with Xants. I decide I’ll walk them back so Brunette is home safe. Then I’ll drag Blondie back “for a coffee” and fuck her.
We are leaving, Xants is a little drunk, more than me for a change. I seem to have my shit together tonight. As they exit Blondie makes an off-hand remark about Xants being like her “Gay Best Friend”. His face drops, he loses his cool and throws the girls out, the door is part open. I look at him, he seems genuinely upset. The girls have a shocked look, I shrug and say goodbye, Xants slams the door. I don’t even walk them out of the apartment block. I had her facebook anyway. No lay, fuck sake, and it was on. Gay Best Friend. Fuck.
My advice, stay off the alcohol if you are gonna run game, also unfortunately for Xants, we should have let one of the other guys take a shot at Brunette. The IODs were too heavy to battle. I should have brought the rest the group in and let the girls pick who they wanted rather than running the set with the two of us. Alternatively I could have tried to get them both back for a 3some as they both seemed to like me. I’d even tested the waters by asking if they had kissed girls, both had. They hadn’t kissed each other though.
Fuck sake, fuck up. I did see them again the following night.. more to tell. Didn’t lay her that night either.[gap size="3em"][author class="man" title="More About This Author"]