My date yesterday was another semi-disaster. I took the Korean girl I met on the weekend out in Nottinghill. I still haven’t nailed down the perfect route back closer to my place yet. I found a good quietish bar, with a relaxed pub atmosphere for the first venue, then depending on, how “on” the girl is I either walk her back to mine or go to another bar somewhere en-route.
I meet the Korean girl, let’s call her Nee, in Cafe Nero at 7:30pm. She tells me she’s been out all day in London sightseeing. She’s better dressed than she was on the weekend, black dress with knee-length boots. Her hair is dark and straight,with two-tone highlighting, she tells me that this is the fashion now in Korea. Darker dye near the crown, with highlighting through to the tips. I compliment her, then try for a peck on the cheek. She does a weird flinch to prevent me touching her. Red flag. hmm.
I walk her to the first bar, she’s chatty, but in a slightly reserved way. More chit-chat. I find out she’s been in London 3 days. She’s fresh off the boat, I am the only number in her phone. She is 30, she is living in a hostel with 22 other people whilst she tries to get herself onto her feet. She is looking for a job as a casino dealer.
No tattoos, no weird piercings, she is well spoken with the cute Chinese lilt. I find out about her history, she lived with her parents in Korea until she was 29. Then she moved to Canada to work for a year, she met a guy at work, a Canadian, dated him for a bit. He sounded typical nice guy, she broke up with him, then had visa problems.
She flew back to Korea, hated it there. Then decided to try her luck in London. I assume she’s had sex with 3 or 4 guys. She doesn’t seem wild, more like a good girl with a bit of an adventurous spirit. I start light touching her, hands, then feeling her muscles, we play thumb war. I tease her about eating dogs, she says old people eat dogs. I tell her that her dress looks like one my grandma would wear. She laughs, then I tell her, she can never meet my family as I’d be worried I’d leave her alone and she’d eat my family pets. I’d come back and she’d have my dog’s leg in her mouth. More laughter, she loves it.
She starts touching me a bit, punching me then pulling herself back. We have one drink and she’s drunk. I’m on shandies to try and curb my drinking. I try and kiss her on the walk to the next bar. No go, “don’t worry ” I say, “your safe for another 30 minutes”, I won’t try and kiss you again until then. She says “No don’t”. Next bar we have a cocktail each.
She pronounces “Bellini” as “Fellani” the bar man doesn’t understand her. It’s quite funny as we try and work out what she wants. I ramp up the touching, shoulders, hair, she flinches at first then gets into it. We finish the drinks, I walk her out, I try for another kiss. No go, but she tries for this weird half-way measure where I am supposed to kiss her forehead. I tell her, I’m not a priest i’m not kissing her fucking forehead.
She’s complaining that she’s drunk. She seems a bit tipsy, nothing more. I tell I’ll walk her to the station, we pass another bar, there is a live band on. I say “one more drink, but you’re only having water” we enter. We’re sat at the bar, I’m getting a bit bored with it all by now. I’m trying to ramp up the escalation, but she seems too stuck on her script “We’re still strangers” she says.
The band finishes, one of the band members (tall good looking guy) comes near us. She starts flirting with him. I check my phone and send a few texts to act like I don’t care. She’s getting into quite the conversation with him. I’m supposed to act non-reactive, I know. The three-hours I spent on her and all the recent near-misses with the German flow into my head. A well of anger springs up. I’m pretty shocked at the rage I’m feeling. I go to the bathroom, as I return she is taking his number. Final straw.
I stand up and walk out, she rushes out after me. I look at her angrily and point her towards the tube station then walk off. She later texts me, asking “If I was angry?”, but says she had a good time”.
Lessons to learn from this. Should have pulled her back to mine instead of the last bar. Should have acted non-reactive to her flirting with the guy and told him we were having private conversation. Also sitting at the bar is bad, as it’s an easy in for interlopers. It’s much higher social pressure for one to come over when your seated next to each other at a table. Maybe I would see her again, but she would have to put it on a plate for me, and I doubt she will do that.
Hong Kong girl tomorrow, one drink with her then straight back to mine for “netflix and chill”. If she balks, I’ll send her on her way. Probably.
So apparently, a kiss on the forehead is a thing in Korea, where the culture is more “romantic” than typical western culture. You live and learn, I suppose it would have been seen as a kino-escalation by her, first-step before the real thing. Gah, fuck it, she’s too old anyway.
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