I finished re-reading Krauser’s Balls Deep. It’s a good read even if just to show what some hard-work and grind can get you out on the streets. Lay stories aside, it’s his players journey experience that I identify with. His last lay in the book is with Zaria the Russian 10, he explains the moment that she decided to have sex with him:
“Ten minutes into my monologue I saw a moment, as clear as day, when she decided she wanted to have sex with me. I could actually see the change in her eyes and her body language. Suddenly, I noticed it. She was fascinated, leaning forward, eyes wide, stroking her coffee cup with her fingers while she listened to me. She would later confirm to me it was at that point that I had her.”
When I read this, I remembered a time year’s ago, in my mid-twenties when I’d had a similar situation. I was showing an 18 yr old Norwegian girl (she was a 9) in Cambridge for her Summer English classes some of the web design work I was doing. I went into detail about the design, how the colors were chosen, the decisions where to place the buttons and other site elements, and the metrics used to optimise the website for quicker sales. I showed her the email systems, I demo’d a little bit of code and showed how it visibly changed the structure of the page. I went through a portfolio of my work, flicking between websites. It helped that the company I worked for built music group websites. So the subject was pretty cool, you get the picture.
I wasn’t showing off, I had a genuine passion for a something and wanted to share it with her. I remember the girl’s eyes fixed on me and she was leaning in heavily over the laptop. I remember thinking, wow she’s really really loving this. Of course I never fucked her, I saw her out randomly once again in a club. I screwed that up by lack of entitlement, I remember her eyes boring into me again, and thinking she was too hot for me. She would genuinely have been one of the hottest girls I could ever have fucked.
Roll forward 10 years, I’m on the date the Korean 6. She says to me, “What do you like doing?” I sit there and I start thinking, “What do I actually like doing?”. I can’t overtly mention game, so I mumble something about going running, that I love running through Hyde Park. She says “ohh, running, that’s it?” Her face dropped a little. She saw right through me. I changed the subject to something else, but it had my brain spinning. It’s been on my mind now, what am I actually bringing to the table, if she’s gonna tell her friends about me, what would she say?
“I met a guy he was a kinda cute, English web designer, he has some work but can’t show it to me unless I sign an NDA”
WELL FUCKING WHOOP DE FUCKING DOO. Pulling it all together, I realised that I’m a two-dimensional PUA. I’d gotten by last year with a certain level of charm, sense of humor and looks, but I’m not an intellectual, and more importantly I’ve lost my passion in life. I have style but little substance. The hot Bulgarian girl I was fucking also saw through me, I’d blamed it on being distant. Actually it was me not giving her enough passion for something I do. Her telling me that “she didn’t know me”, was me not sharing any deep connection with her about anything, because I don’t have a passion for anything. (except daygame)
I want to loop this in with a post that hit home last year on creating your identity that I read on Chateau Heartiste The idea is you create yourself an identity and the girl projects onto you all of attributes / beliefs she holds of that identity. Think about, there is just nothing sexy about being an web designer. Also my passion for it has long since gone, so I can’t even show that. It pays the bills, that’s it.
The Heartiste post gives a list of sexy-male archetypes. the only one I can half-identify with is the photographer. Also, this is an easy prop to carry around. I wonder what it would be like to process film manually in developer fluid, it does seem fucking cool. Obviously pretty girls also like to have their photos taken. Goldmund has a book on camera game that I’ll buy. I think initially I’ll use his method “as is” to pick up chicks, but then as I get into photography I’ll try and revert back to strict game, with photography being the much needed third dimension to me. Also I’m pretty good with websites, so I know I can create a visually awesome site that show cases my work. Ideally this will combine an ability to weave intellectual knowledge with a passion that is a sexy-male archetype.
“I met a guy, he was kinda cute, a photographer!, look at his work!, yeah that’s me there..”
I’ll call it identity-passion mastery, I’d always wanted to coin my own daygame phrase.
Done and done.
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