Three of the city daygame crew have now spent a weekend with Mr Jimmy Jambone and guess what? Turns out we were all making the same mistake. What was that mistake? None of us knew how to DHV ourselves and we were all avoiding talking about ourselves in set at all. Now if one of us had been doing this it would be random, 2 would be chance but all 3?? That’s unlikely to be coincidence.
We are daygame 2.0, we’re lucky enough to have learnt from those that went before us but I suspect this has been primarily a benefit but at times a curse. Personally I’d learnt almost entirely from Krauser’s books, for which I’m extremely grateful as they got me laid but there is a drawback in learning from books. When you create something from scratch if it works you keep it and if it doesn’t you throw it out, however when you learn from a book and believe you are executing it correctly you tend to stick with the same technique even if it isn’t working for you. There could be 2 reasons for this: 1) you’ve misunderstood the material, what you believe to be right is actually wrong but you keep doing it in vain because you think somebody with more knowledge says it is what you should be doing; 2) the advice given in the book is correct for most people, if you coach 100 people it is the best advice 70% of the time but completely the wrong advice 30% of the time.
I’ll give an analogy for the 2nd point. When I was at Uni me and a friend did parachuting lessons. Not a tandem jump, we did a 3 day course where we learnt to jump solo, if shit got real in the air we had to fix the problems with our own parachutes in real time. When guiding our parachutes in we were given strict instructions, don’t go over the sea, don’t go over the caravan park and land facing into the wind. We had one way radios so that they could give us instructions on the way down. I didn’t have any problems coming in however the radio frequencies got mixed up for my friend, he followed the instructions meant for another skydiver and ended up going over the sea, over the caravan park and landing with the wind at his back, luckily he lived to tell the tale. The point being what were perfect instructions for somebody else were exactly the wrong instructions for him.
So what happened to talking about yourself and DHVing yourself? I suspect that when coaching a good daygame coach found their students talked about themselves way too much and as such “don’t talk about yourself, make the conversation about her” became a common theme. While this was excellent advice for 70% of guys out there if you didn’t have a propensity to talk about yourself anyway and also had a tendency to try to learn techniques exactly as written you would end up avoiding talking about yourself all together leaving you as the mysterious stranger that only a yes girl would be into.[gap size="3em"][author class="man" title="More About This Author"]