Daygame sticking points, parachuting and the benefit of coaching

Xants Coaching 4 Comments

Three of the city daygame crew have now spent a weekend with Mr Jimmy Jambone and guess what? Turns out we were all making the same mistake. What was that mistake? None of us knew how to DHV ourselves and we were all avoiding talking about ourselves in set at all. Now if one of us had been doing this it would be random, 2 would be chance but all 3?? That’s unlikely to be coincidence.

We are daygame 2.0, we’re lucky enough to have learnt from those that went before us but I suspect this has been primarily a benefit but at times a curse. Personally I’d learnt almost entirely from Krauser’s books, for which I’m extremely grateful as they got me laid but there is a drawback in learning from books. When you create something from scratch if it works you keep it and if it doesn’t you throw it out, however when you learn from a book and believe you are executing it correctly you tend to stick with the same technique even if it isn’t working for you. There could be 2 reasons for this: 1) you’ve misunderstood the material, what you believe to be right is actually wrong but you keep doing it in vain because you think somebody with more knowledge says it is what you should be doing; 2) the advice given in the book is correct for most people, if you coach 100 people it is the best advice 70% of the time but completely the wrong advice 30% of the time.

I’ll give an analogy for the 2nd point. When I was at Uni me and a friend did parachuting lessons. Not a tandem jump, we did a 3 day course where we learnt to jump solo, if shit got real in the air we had to fix the problems with our own parachutes in real time. When guiding our parachutes in we were given strict instructions, don’t go over the sea, don’t go over the caravan park and land facing into the wind. We had one way radios so that they could give us instructions on the way down. I didn’t have any problems coming in however the radio frequencies got mixed up for my friend, he followed the instructions meant for another skydiver and ended up going over the sea, over the caravan park and landing with the wind at his back, luckily he lived to tell the tale. The point being what were perfect instructions for somebody else were exactly the wrong instructions for him.

So what happened to talking about yourself and DHVing yourself? I suspect that when coaching a good daygame coach found their students talked about themselves way too much and as such “don’t talk about yourself, make the conversation about her” became a common theme. While this was excellent advice for 70% of guys out there if you didn’t have a propensity to talk about yourself anyway and also had a tendency to try to learn techniques exactly as written you would end up avoiding talking about yourself all together leaving you as the mysterious stranger that only a yes girl would be into.

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Comments 4

      1. Don’t forget the conversational benefits of the DHV spikes too. That was half of the purpose.

        The DHVs are not just about spiking her interest in you, but also about openening a few interesting doors for something to talk about in those moments after the stack when she seems fine for you to stay around but you can’t think of much to say.

        ‘OK, so what are you doing in X Town?’

        ‘One of our friends lives here with his Spanish girlfriend. We’re here for the wedding. I’m actually a photographer so I’m on photograph duty, at least for the first part of the day.’

        Aside from the obvious DHVs in the above example, how many conversational hooks are there? All of a sudden, there’s a wedding, a Spanish girl, a photographer, ‘one of our friends’, there’s a friendship circle.

        That’s all fertile ground for an enthusiastic conversation and the DHV doesn’t necessarily have to continue with you talking about yourself either. She could start telling you about her holiday in Spain, or how she wants to learn photography, she could ask you about your photography, whatever.

        You’re in an cosy set for ten minutes now if you want. Talk about her, talk about you, do a little dance, do whatever you want.

        A lot of you guys’ sets were very well opened and stacked. You were teasing well and getting green lights to take the interaction further, but sometimes not fully capitalizing on it. I was looking for an extra tool to give you yes, to raise your value and flesh out your characters, but also to grease the wheels of the conversation so it’s less laborious for you.

        You’ve all found a new toy. You’ll probably all now spend the next few months on DHV Overkill. You should just practice spiking your comments. Dropping spikes and getting used to tempting people into further conversation.

        1. this is great advice .. some of the London daygame coaches pushed the idea “let the girl talk, this is her investing” and “talk about the girl as she is more likely to hook” .. & just like that DHVing was thrown out with the bathwater from old school game … the result is that girls don’t know a thing about you and when they get the first text from you it usually flakes … you have to DHV.

          BTW loving the blog ..

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