What have I done? I agreed to a monogamous relationship with the 24 year old German girl. I was fully expecting to eventually date her, but not so soon. I was aiming for some point next year when she moves to London. I’ve been to Germany to see her again, this is the third time I’ve been over there. This time she invited me to her house, her parents are away. Then after a marathon dirty sex session, we had a talk and she asked me to be her boyfriend. “She really likes me”, her words.
So I’ve gotten it the right way around, she asked me, she’s trying to nail down the bad boy player. I took a minute then agreed with her, but told her I was demanding and not very good at relationships.
Then it was a weekend of sex, site-seeing, more sex and her cooking for me. I did all the things you’re supposed to do, ate all her food, left the seat up on the toilet, basically treated her place like my own home. Good times, very good times and I really like her, but there is already trouble in Paradise.
Some red flags are flying and I’m starting to wonder if being her boyfriend was the right decision.
She keeps mentioning her ex-bfs.
I had an interest in learning her sexual history when she was just a plate, but now that we’re an item and I’ve developed some feelings for her I don’t want to know any more details. Yeah, I’m trying to keep my emotions buried, buried deep.
At one point when she was going to tell me a “game” she played with her ex, I pretended to be bored and walked off. I’m trying to save her from ruining our relationship before it gets off the starting block, but she already seems hell-bent on pushing it to the edge.
Footballer, did she or didn’t she bang him?
When I first met her she told me some story about having a celebrity footballer after her. She told me he had a wife and kid, that he’s handsome and charming. She then went on to tell me she had a date with him but eventually rejected him because of his marital situation. I took this to mean that she hadn’t actually slept with the guy, but now I think she did sleep with him and she purposely misrepresented that, because I hadn’t asked her directly “did she sleep with him?”. I then asked her outright, and she said she wouldn’t tell me. That’s a yes she slept with him, because if she didn’t she would have said she didn’t.
This is a huge red flag, she’s happy to misrepresent the truth, so now I need to ask her directly to get a straight answer?.. hmm. I know I shouldn’t care, in the end I just told her, “look it’s in your past, I have my own past too”, it’s before I met you. Anyway, now I’m the one banging her, so who cares?
As we’re walking around her town though, she mentions his club twice -after seeing something relating to the football club he plays for. The first time she mentioned it, I ignored. Then the second time, I told her “I’m not interested in football, take me to a German beerhouse with the girls in lederhosen, that’s interesting”. She’s constantly trying to hold the frame in a seemingly innocuous way, it’s a jealousy ploy that’s amped up by him having high value, she’s trying to play off my own insecurities about him. Fuck that, I’m the King.
New year in Budapest
The issues continue, so before I met her, she booked to go to Budapest for NYE with one of her girlfriends. Her girlfriend is a bit weird, I’ve met her. Then I ask her, why Budapest? Well, turns out, the reason she was going back was she was going to meet an ex fuck-buddy. He sounds pretty alpha, she told me that she now wouldn’t see him, because she is committed to me. She won’t meet him because “it wouldn’t just stop with coffee”.
How do I take that? that’s actually a pretty low move, and another attempt to encourage some jealousy and mate-guarding from me. I told her she should go and have a great time, I mentioned I might go to Paris. She asked why, I told her I like Paris for New Year and I have a friend or two there. No details, but enough to show her I have my own options.
Not sending me sexy pics
She refuses to send me sexy pics of her. “Send me a pic of you, you get points for non-disney”. She told me to send a pic first, I told her I don’t negotiate. In the end she didn’t send anything. Not really a big deal in itself, but shows she’s really fighting being drawn into my frame, we don’t really text anything sexual, it’s actually kind of boring. The sex gets left for when we are together.
Apart from the above, she is a high quality girl, she’s fun to be with, the sex is amazing and she’s fucking hot. I expect tests of my frame from her, especially early on in a relationship, my eyes are open to that. My issue is that the strength of the tests and the toll they take on my emotional well-being aren’t necessarily worth the relationship itself. If I didn’t see potential for a family and a real future with her I would never have agreed to a LTR, she is a lot of hard work.
As for the individual issues, footballer and ex’s I’ll ignore. Budapest I’ll trust her not to meet him, if she wants to cheat she could do it anyway, she doesn’t need to go to Budapest to do that. She doesn’t drink either, so it really would be an organised effort to bang him, and if that’s the case she’d tell me and the relationship would be over anyway.
I’ll use it as a way to show her that I’m confident in letting her do what she wants. If she mentions she might see him and has changed her mind. Then I’ll draw a line and either soft next her or tell her if she sees him and I find out then we’re over, and it wouldn’t matter when I found out, it’s a year later or when she gets back, it would be over. YaReally has a good line “Do what you want, you’re single now”. Then walk away.
The sexy pics, I’ll roll off and keep trying after more comfort, I also try and get her sexting then build it into her sending a pic. I think she needs more of a buildup to it.
So what does this mean for daygame and me? I’m not doing any for now. This might change based on her behavior, I have no qualms in generating new leads if I think she’s not worth the LTR.
I’ll continue to blog though, because I think she’s gonna keep throwing curve balls and they will for sure make an interesting read.
With all these red flags it might be short-lived break from daygame, but really I hope it isn’t.
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